Financial expert Dave Ramsey advised a 30-year-old listener to consider ending her long-term relationship after years of her partner’s poor money habits, citing the importance of shared values over affection.
On the Sunday edition of The Ramsey Show, caller Lauren explained that she had followed Ramsey’s Baby Steps for six to seven years, paying off debt, building an emergency fund, and buying a car with cash.
However, her 49-year-old boyfriend had accumulated financed vehicles and remained financially irresponsible. “I think I need some advice on next steps,” Lauren said, describing her frustration over eight years of attempts to discuss finances with her partner.
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Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruze responded bluntly. “You don’t respect him, do you?” Ramsey asked.
Lauren admitted she did not. Cruze emphasized that misaligned values, not just money, can make a partnership untenable. “When those are in conflict…that’s a really hard marriage to be a team and to enjoy life together,” she said.
Ramsey noted that patterns formed over decades are unlikely to change. “It’s been discussed over and over…He’s not going to change,” he said. He recommended Lauren read Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud to help navigate the emotional and intellectual aspects of her decision.
Last month, a Salt Lake City woman named Mallory revealed that after one year of marriage, her husband still refused to share financial details.
She said she did not know his income, debts, or spending habits and described their setup as more like roommates, splitting bills 50/50 with no joint accounts. Mallory added that she once caught him texting another woman, discovered collection notices in his name, and could not obtain their joint tax return.
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Kamel expressed alarm at how little she knew about her husband’s finances, while Delony warned that such secrecy rarely existed in isolation. He also cautioned her to ensure he was not taking out debt in her name.
In August, Ramsey told author Lewis Howes on The School of Greatness podcast that leaders who hoard wealth might see short-term gains but ultimately limit their growth and relationships.
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