The 28-year-old survivor lost his partner and mother after the October 7 massacre — his death highlights the enduring trauma faced by many Nova survivors.
Nova musical festival survivor Roei Shalev took his own life on Friday after sharing a social media post saying goodbye.
Shalev attended the Nova Music festival on October 7, 2023, when terrorists infiltrated the Gaza border communities and killed thousands. He was shot in the back and survived. His partner, Mapal Adam, was murdered by the terrorists, as well as his close friend, Hili Solomon.
A week after the massacre, Raffaela, Shalev’s mother, also took her own life.
He was found in a burning car on a highway exit near Netanya, with Israel Police noting an investigation has been opened into the circumstances of the incident, though Shalev posted a goodbye message on his Instagram page. The message, in which he describes the pain and loss he has felt since the October 7 massacre, echoes sentiments friends of the deceased have shared about Shalev not fully recovering from the loss of his partner, Adam.
‘I’m already dead’
“I’m truly sorry. I can’t bear this pain any longer. I’m burning inside, and I can’t contain it anymore. Never in my life have I felt such pain and suffering – deep, burning, eating me from within,” read Shalev’s message, which was posted on his personal Instagram account.
Roei Shalev, survivor of the October 7 massacre, poses in a Nova Music Festival t-shirt (credit: Courtesy of Mediacentral)
“I truly can’t go on. Dad, Lior, and Ido – I love you more than anything in the world. I’m so sorry. My friends in Israel and around the world – I love you. Keshet, I love you. Please don’t be angry with me. No one will ever understand me, because you can’t. I just want this suffering to end. I’m alive – but inside, I’m already dead.”
“Please remember the good in me. Anyone who knew me knows that all I ever wanted was good. I’m sorry.”
The Nova Tribe Community Association, sharing in the grief of Shalev’s death, said that, “Unfortunately, many of the PTSD victims of October 7 are still experiencing terrible and complex moments since that day. We ask everyone to be constantly vigilant and maximally sensitive to the mental state of the victims of October 7 in general, and to the survivors and the bereaved families in particular.”
His post raised immediate flags, with the Nova Tribe and friends launching a search after he failed to respond to calls. CCTV revealed him at a gas station filling a canister with fuel. His vehicle was soon found burning with his body in the vehicle, where he was declared dead immediately.
The Shalev family announces his death in a statement, asking “to refrain from contact.” The statement further says details of the funeral “will be provided separately.”
Nova Tribe called Shalev one of the pillars of their community, calling his death an “incomprehensible loss.”“We ask to remember him in his most beautiful moments — his courageous support of the community, his leadership as captain of the Nova Tribe basketball team, and his devotion to helping friends in their most difficult times.”
After learning of Shalev’s death, YouTuber and basketball trainer Barak Swarttz posted a reaction highlighting an interview he’d conducted on a Los Angeles basketball court last year. Shalev shared his traumatic survival story, and the story of the loss of his loved ones during the Nova massacre, in which he played dead as terrorists walked around him. He described being shot twice, yet surviving.
In his interview, he detailed how he and Mapal Adam had discussed their future together ahead of their untimely deaths; weddings, the names of their children, and the like. “They send me signs,” he told Swarttz.
“After the biggest nightmare of my life, I am here today. On a basketball court with a smile on my face,” he said, detailing that the pain still remains — flashbacks continued and tears flowed.
After the confirmation of Shalev’s death, the YouTuber added a pinned comment that read, “Dear YouTube community – Roei took his life 2 days ago, October 10th. He couldn’t take the pain anymore. Please send your wishes to his family and loved ones. Gutted,” with emojis of angel wings, a candle, and a broken heart.
Other survivors have taken their own lives, including Nova survivor Shiriel Golan, who died by suicide a year after the attack, reportedly on her 22nd birthday. Though specific numbers remain unconfirmed, in April 2024, Israeli media reported that Nova survivor Guy Ben Shimon testified in Knesset that “almost 50 suicides among the Nova survivors” had occurred. Israel’s Health Ministry has denied the claim that 50 survivors have committed suicide, stating that they did not have records or evidence to support the number.
The Health Ministry said that the provided figure was incorrect and that the number of related suicides was less than 10 as of April 2024. Updated numbers, due to family privacy among other factors, are not available to the public.
Israeli NGO ELEM: Youth in Distress, which works with at-risk youth and young adults in Israel, honored Shalev with their “LifeSaver Award” for his advocacy and continued fight for handling post-trauma after October 7.
“I’m determined to help rebuild our community, to offer hope and support to those whose lives have been shattered by similar tragedies. And so, I humbly ask for your assistance,” he said, accepting his award in a ceremony last year. “Together, we can make a difference. Whether through donations or spreading awareness, every act of kindness matters. And amidst the pain and sorrow, I hold onto one truth: we will dance again. We’ll reclaim the joy that was stolen from us and build a brighter future for all.”
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